'Breaking Free' Break

Hello!

While I'm studying along with a group of other wonderful ladies Beth Moore's book, "Breaking Free" I wanted to share a blog site that you can follow along with us!  We are only up to Chapter 5 this week and God is already rockin my socks off!  I'd love for you to join us...follow the discussion here:

http://learninggroupsbp1.blogspot.com

If you decide to join us online, leave a comment here so that I can be praying for your journey towards freedom in Christ!

Why 'Breaking Free?'

Galatians 5:1
"For freedom Christ has set us free, stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery."

Beginning January 23rd at 7pm I will be leading a new learning group through this book, "Breaking Free:Discover the Victory of Total Surrender" by Beth Moore at Bridgepoint Church-Palm Harbor.  

This book has been on my bookshelf for a LONG time, maybe 5+ years!  I've read the Preface and first chapter at least a dozen times.  But for some reason, as He usually does, God did NOT engage me in these pages on those occasions.  A few weeks ago, however, it was as if He flung the book off my shelf and whacked me upside the head with it saying, 'Now, it's time for this!'  I'm ready...I think :)

If I had to sum up or put together a 'theme' for my heart and the work God has been doing in it over the past few years--it'd most definitely be FREEDOM.  Freedom from approval, freedom from expectations.  Freedom from my own selfishness, imperfections and securities.  Freedom from myself to freedom IN Christ.  Alone.  His perfection for my failure.  His acceptance for my rejection. His successes for my inabilities and shortcomings.  His perfect love in place of my endless ego, vanity, worry and unbelief.  We were never meant to 'do' this life by our own means-in our own efforts-by our own will and desires.  Because on our own, in our own merit-we're hopeless, helpless.  Most of us don't want to admit that kind of posture, but it's truth.  We were made for God, by God, to be a part of His Story of sweet rescue and redemption as HE rescues and redeems us-His beloved children.  This has always been HIS story, He's always been the Hero, the main character..not me.  Just the acknowledgement of this has brought my heart tremendous freedom and hope--joy inexpressible!  

BUT.  There's always a but.

As a follower, believer, lover of Jesus-a Christian-is it possible that I'm NOT walking fully (or even dabbling) in the freedom we have offered us in Christ?  Is it possible for our hearts to be saved, redeemed, rescued and forgiven-yet we still live bound to and subject under our own shortcomings and abilities?  We know in our heads that grace is a gift, yet we spend our days often in attempts to earn God's favor and love.  Is it possible for a Christian to know Christ but not live in His freedom?

I believe the answer is yes.  It's true for me.  I wonder if it's true for you?

This journey through 'Breaking Free' won't be a short one...and I'm not just talking about the 47 chapters inside the cover. I believe with everything in me that this journey will only be the beginning of a much longer adventure-one toward true freedom.  Freedom from a lot of 'things' and freedom in the person of Jesus.  I'm asking God for BIG things during our time together.  I'm asking for nothing short of full and total transformation in Christ...mine and yours!  It might be painful at times.  It might seem impossible.  It might require more than I bargained for, but we can be sure we won't be going this alone.  And we know that victory awaits us as we take each step-hand in hand with the One who has already fought every battle--and won!  

I don't know what you're struggling with today.  I don't know what this road will look like for you.  But I know the One calling us to live in the beautiful light of His freedom and grace.  He finishes what He starts, and He wants to see His children living, breathing and walking daily in freedom!  You won't have to do this alone.  I hope you'll join me on this adventure.  Mark your calendar, buy the book (here) and hold on tight...

Peace

Peace on earth...good will towards men

Peace be with you...and also with you

Shalom...

..and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will be yours..

Peace.  It's a beautiful term we throw around often.  In the 70's, it was an icon.  Today, it's more a state-of-mind.  Do you have it?  Where do you get it?  How does it come?  How can you make it last?

Most of my life I've viewed peace as an emotion or a feeling.  Almost like an overwhelming calmness that saturates every inch of my being, inside and out.  Regardless of situation, circumstance or any external forces...peace is being 'ok' in spite of those.  Right?

Jesus talked about peace often.
"the peace I give isn't like the peace the world gives." John14:27

"I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me" John16:33

"go, in peace" Mark5:34

"live in peace with one another" Mark9:50

Paul, one of the major New Testament authors, greets his readers repeatedly with the phrase, "grace and peace to you in Christ Jesus!"

What does it mean, exactly?  What was Jesus (and Paul) trying to communicate with that word?  Was it merely the absence of affliction, conflict or turmoil?  A warm, fuzzy feeling or emotion?  Maybe, but maybe it's more...

Romans tells us that 'the wages of sin is death.'  That without the sacrificial covering and work that Jesus did for us on the cross and the power held in His resurrection..we are enemies of God.  Enemies.  At war.  Our sin-nature is literally at war with the holiness of God...where there is sin there cannot be peace.  We cannot be friends.  In Him there is no sin, so because He is holy and without sin, He cannot be with it...it would mean He was no longer holy...effectively making Him no longer God.

THIS is what makes the gospel aka 'the good news' of Jesus not just good but GRACE!  Jesus accomplishes for us, what we cannot do on our own.  His payment of our sin (not His own, He led a sin-less life) on the cross and resurrection not only defeats sin and death on our behalf but it allows us to be friends with God.  The battle was won...where there was once war and death, we now have peace..and life!  Picture Israel right now if they were in a time of peace, instead of war.

Jesus told us that He doesn't give us peace like the world gives...the peace He brings isn't a mere emotion or state of being, though it can be those things too.  It's  not just the absence of conflict or affliction, though it can encompass that.  But the peace we have in Jesus is that the war of sin and death is over...defeated...He is victorious!  And in Him, we are too.  No longer enemies of God, but friends, at peace...and even better...adopted, beloved children!

I'm not sure I'll be able to throw the word around as much now that I've seen a bigger picture of just what peace we truly have in Christ!  The next time you pray for peace in someone's life or circumstances...remember that we're praying for the battle of sin to be won in their lives through Jesus, more than a warm fuzzy feeling in their heart...though, sometimes the two go hand in hand :)

Reminder

My son is 5...well, he'll be 6 very soon.  He is rambunctious, curious, energetic, creative, rambunctious...!  Sometimes I forget that this sweet, kind, very big hearted little boy is just that-a little boy!  Sometimes I expect him to act like a big kid or to remember the 25 times previous (in one day) that I've told him to stop fighting the sofa with his light saber!  But the truth is, he's 5.  Sure he can be a 'selective listener' (a skill I'm pretty sure he's learning from his daddy), and he can be rebellious and defiant.  But 98% of the time, he's just a little boy, who is so enthralled and enchanted by his surroundings and his imagination that he needs to be lovingly lead...carefully reminded who he is and the boundaries of  his world.

I'm not 5 anymore, by a lot of years!  I'm reliable on most days to behave, listen and not entice the couch to a light saber battle.  But I still forget.  I still lose sight of who I am, and the boundaries of my world.  I still need to be lovingly lead, carefully guided and reminded.  It's a task I can't do for myself the way I can for my own son and daughter, while they are young.

Romans 1:3-4 says:
'Concerning the Son, who was descended from David according to the flesh and was declared to be the Son of God in power according to the spirit of holiness by his resurrection from the dead, Jesus Christ our Lord'

Paul needed to remind his fellow believers in Rome just Who this Jesus that they were building their faith upon and church around, was.  He wasn't just a good Rabbi, though He was the best to ever live.  He wasn't just a performer of miraculous signs and wonders, though He revealed the absolute power of God in amazing ways during His life.  He wasn't just a prophet as they had learned of in previous generations.  Jesus is the Messiah!  He's the One the scriptures have been pointing to, revealing and prophesying about!  He is fully man-descended from the line of David, just like scriptures foretold.  He's also fully and powerfully God's own son-shown in His all-powerful defeat and victory over all sin and death itself in His resurrection from the grave!  This Jesus, isn't just good and helpful, He IS life itself, the reason we are here and the rock on which we build our faith, our church, our everything!

I needed this reminder today, just as those in Rome did so many years ago.  I need this reminder everyday as I forget who I am, or should I say whose I am.  This story isn't about me.  But because of who He is, I get to be a part if it.  This isn't about my perfection or successes, but His perfection for me!  I'm sure to forget, but He is faithful to remind.

identity

"Paul, a servant of Christ Jesus, called to be an apostle, set apart for the gospel of God, which he promised beforehand through his prophets in the holy Scriptures," (Romans 1:1, 2 ESV)

I typically glaze over introductory words like these. Even in study, I would expect to find the 'meatier' words found within the middle of books/chapters. But have you ever started to read a book from the middle? Oh sure, most times we can catch up to what the author is saying, who each character is, storyline etc...but if we miss those first introductions, we miss richness and context that enhance and enlighten the words that follow after.  In fact, it might even change the whole story.

If you read much Scripture, the first words in this chapter can seem redundant. Paul is credited with writing many New Testament books. He often begins in this same manner, introducing or reaffirming who he is to the audience of his letter. But this isn't just a generic reminder of his genealogy or an apathetic spring board so he can get to his point. These words contain his very identity, and it's within this identity that the rest of his words, found in many letters written to many new testament churches, find their meaning and authority.

Identity. It's a pretty hot topic in our culture right now. Who am I? Why am I here? These questions have been asked by every living soul since the beginning of time--literally. What Paul is communicating here is that the message he brings to the believers in Rome isn't his own. In fact, he isn't his own. He belongs to Christ (see first post on Romans), has been called to 'go and teach/make students' of Jesus by Christ himself. The message of rescue and freedom he is bringing is a message straight from God-for the glory of God..not from Paul, for the glory of Paul. It is the message of hope that has been told since the fall of man as recorded in earliest of Scriptures. Every word, every person, every law spoken through prophets in the holy scriptures (old testament) has pointed to and proclaimed the coming rescue, redemption and reconciliation for us-to God-in Jesus.

Without this introduction, Paul's identification, the words that follow don't hold water. If Paul was just Paul-a guy trying to make a name for himself, his readers wouldn't have found life and hope in the words that followed.  The rest of the letter wouldn't make much impact. Who we are, reflects in what and how we speak and act and how our lives play out.  Are we the main character or is Christ?

Identity. Who am I? Why am I here? These aren't just cliche words. If I were to examine every facet of my life- Who/what am I identified by? 
What propels how I live and the choices I make every day? 
Am I here to try and make a name for myself or is there more? 
As a follower of Jesus, a student-called by God, am I living to tell others about Him, as an ambassador of His great love and freedom?

This thing called life...it's His story...let's not skip the introductions and miss out on who we are and why we're here.

Mutually Encouraged

I'm an optimist by nature.  An idealist and encourager.  This doesn't just mean that I see the glass as half full (most days) but that I see it as completely overflowing as God pours abundance never-ending into it!  I believe that He's given me a desire to help others see that same fullness and abundance in Christ in their lives as well.  Not blowing smoke or building ego, but discovering the reality of tangible freedom and life we have in Christ.  But as any encourager can tell you...there are times when we lose our exuberance or run out of steam.  Times where weariness replaces excitement and our thoughts are shadowy instead of seeing and savoring God's marvelous Light.  It's a rough place to be, but often an indicator of need for more regular and consistent 'filling' of those same freedoms and realities in my own life.

I'm getting a bit out of step here, skipping to verse 12 in Ch1 of Romans.  There's still a lot to be had from the first 10 verses, but this one keeps coming back to me:

Romans 1:11-12
1For I long to see you, that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you—12that is, that we may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith, both yours and mine. 

Paul is longing to be with and see the believers in Rome not only to continue to build and strengthen their faith but to encourage his own! What a sweet joy, and never more full than when the gospel of sweet grace is shared!

We often think that the gospel is only a starting point. That we must move on from it in order to grow and mature as believers in Christ. And while Paul speaks often of graduating from spiritual milk to solids, from babies to maturity...it is not without the gospel that this growth can be seen. Indeed, it is its continual revelation, and constant delight of, that mutually encourages followers of Jesus to continue on in our journeys, struggles and triumphs.

My heart is never more full than when I can see and share how the undeserved Love of God is pouring out through the person of Jesus. To be able to watch Him moving, working and transforming lives...redeeming and rescuing His beloved children..there is nothing that makes my joy more complete...my own faith more encouraged!

Are you walking with Him today? Are you returning to the story that started it all? Go there often, and share who He is and what His undescribable grace is doing around you. You can be sure that it will mutually encourage you and those around you!  

A walk through Romans

For a few months, I've been dabbling through the first chapter of the book of Romans.  Yes, I just said FIRST chapter.  Actually, I think I'm about 6-10 verses into Chapter 2 as of today!  What a MEATY book...slightly intimidating to be honest.  But I think it's the power in the words that entice me to dive in!  So, instead of traversing alone, I thought I'd jot a few thoughts down here as I go and maybe you can join me...it's always more rich when we study together :)

I like to read out of the ESV (English Standard Version) but will sometimes refer to the NLT (New Living Translation) for slightly different verbiage.

Paul is the author of the book of Romans.  We discover who he is and see his encounters and missionary activities throughout the book of Acts, just before Romans.  I highly recommend doing your homework on Paul...he's a beautiful example of God's incredible grace and mercy...and desire to use our weaknesses for His good!

Ok, ready to get going??

In my rush to get to the 'good parts' of the story, I've always overlooked the first few verses of Romans-- Paul's introduction or greeting.  What a big mistake!  There is so much richness in how Paul describes himself to his audience in these first 7 verses.  Note to self-not ONE ounce of God's Word is useless!  Savor.every.bit!

Romans, Chapter 1: 1-7
"Paul, a servant of Christ Jesus, called to be an apostle, set apart for the gospel of God, which he promised beforehand through his prophets in the holy Scriptures, concerning his Son, who was descended from David according to the flesh and was declared to be the Son of God in power according to the Spirit of holiness by his resurrection from the dead, Jesus Christ our Lord, through whom we have received grace and apostleship to bring about the obedience of faith for the sake of his name among all the nations, including you who are called to belong to Jesus Christ, to all those in Rome who are loved by God and called to be saints:  Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ."

Besides being possibly the longest run-on sentence known in history, it's easy to get lost in these words.  Let's disect it a piece at a time.

Vs1: "Paul, a servant of Christ Jesus"
Servant isn't exactly a politically correct term in 2012...hasn't been for decades, thankfully.  But the greek word here 'doulos' translates better as bondservant or slave.  Slave most closely identifies with Paul's intention here.  While we consider ownership of another human being to be horrific (and it is, when the ownership is forced) Paul is letting us know that he no longer belongs to himself.  He has handed over to Jesus, his entire self...rights, possessions, desires...everything.  He wants to convey to his readers in Rome that following Christ isn't just an acknowledgement of Jesus as the Messiah but a complete transfer of one's ownership.

I wonder what owned Paul when he was Saul...before he met Jesus on the road to Damascus? What owns you?  I'm asking myself the same question.  Even as a Christ-follower...have I made the transition (only with the power and help of the Holy Spirit) from being a slave to sin & rebellion--ie: my own way to being like Paul...a slave of Christ Jesus?  He won't take it from me, I have to hand it over to Him...willingly, with gratitude.  Are we there yet?

Something New

Happy November!

Typically, on this site you will find my ramblings about what God is teaching, showing and challenging me with as I journey with Him.  Today, instead of my normal spiritual rant, I'm sharing a new recipe that I had so much fun making yesterday and thought you might enjoy it too :)

In all fairness and honesty, this recipe actually has TONS to do with what God is doing in my life..it is clean, fresh and healthy...and I'm sure I'll share more about that work in my soul later, but for now...here's the goods on the grub!

Veggie marinara

4 lg tomatoes

6 campari or plum tomatoes

1 lg zucchini

2 lg carrots (bugs bunny style)

1 c vegetable stock

6 garlic cloves

1 sm white/yellow onion

basil as desired

olive oil

  Quarter the tomatoes and place in a roasting pan w/ 1/2 the garlic cloves (whole). Drizzle with olive oil, salt/pepper and roast on 425 for 20-30min--stirring halfway thru.  Saute the rest of the garlic (minced) and onion (diced) in olive oil until transparent.  Lower heat to med--Grate in (fine) the zucchini and carrots.  Add veg stock and roasted tomatoes (w/ all juices!) to the veggies (feel free to take the skin off the tomatoes here...I didn't and ended up straining them out later...pain!)  Add chopped basil leaves here...I used fresh, but I'm sure dried would be great too..just don't use as much!  Up the heat to med-high again and let boil for 1min.  Lower heat to low and let simmer for as long as desired...the longer the better!  

Thinking that once everything is cooked, it'd be a great one to stick in the crockpot for the day to simmer/combine :)

Eggplant & Zucchini Lasagna

1 lg eggplant

2 good size zucchini

2 c. spinach (fresh)

olive oil

salt pepper

2c. mozz cheese

parmesan cheese to top

2 c. veggie marinara sauce (give or take depending on how saucy you like it!)

Slice the eggplant and zucchini vertically in 1/2in strips.  Place in roasting pan (or you could stick on the grill for a few min each side!) drizzle with olive oil, salt/pepper and broil for 5min each side.  

While roasting, place 1c mozz and spinach in food proccessor and pulse til spinach is finely chopped and combined w/ cheese--set aside.

In a 12x9 dish, spoon a thin layer of marinara sauce.  Place a layer of roasted eggplant slices on top of sauce across the dish.  Spoon 1/2 the spinach-mozz mixture over the eggplant, then layer zucchini slices on top, adding more marinara sauce overtop.  Spread remaining spinach-mozz then layer last layer of eggplant slices.  Top with remaining cup of mozz cheese and top w/ parmesan.  

Bake at 425 for 30min (I up'd the heat to 500 for another 5min to brown the cheese the way we like it at the end :)

Let cool for 5min, then gobble! :) YUM!

New (part2)

Lately my prayer life has looked a lot like this:
"God, please make me a better mom.  Help me to be more patient, compassionate and nurturing to K&B.  Please help me to yell less and listen more.  Please protect their tender hearts from my insufficiency as their mom...or at least let them have a really great therapist when they get older ;)"

What?  You don't think God likes to laugh too?? ;)

But truly, no matter the day or hour, that is about the tone of most of my prayers these days.  Any of that sound familiar?  Or am I the only crappy parent out there?

Most of my frustration in this cycle is that I haven't seen much response from God on this.  I mean, I guess I have better days than others, but for the most part, I'm not really seeing much-if any improvement in these 'areas of concern' that I've been praying about.  So, after throwing a lovely temper-tantrum (which I won't dialogue for you) in His direction recently I think He might have tapped on my shoulder a bit.  No dramatic changes in my temperament, etc...but sort of a re-examination of the prayer I've been pleading for.

What if His answer is NO?  And..this is a bigger one...what if that's BEST?

BAM.  Not to mention Ouch!

Here's what I think God is trying to chisel away at my extremely tough head (and heart...ok fine, and ego too!)  Do my kids need to see perfection in me?  Do they need (truly) that I respond perfectly, react perfectly and BE perfect in everything?  OR...do they need to see a mom that is in fact NOT perfect?  So not perfect that I mess up, screw up and all around make a royal mess of things and sin DAILY!     Culture or ego might say 'heck-to-the-no' but what does Scripture say?

The Gospel is this:  We are sinners.  God is Perfect, Holy.  And His holiness cannot be compromised by sin (not just in deed but in nature-see the Fall of man-Genesis3) or He would no longer be God.  And only a perfect, holy God can 'fix' a broken relationship due to sin.  So He does.  He sends us Jesus-His Son-fully God and fully man to pay the price that our sin demands in order to repair our broken relationship.  Jesus, the perfect One in all deed and nature-flawless in every way, gives His very life for our ransom.  He not only bridges the gap sin gorged between us and God, but He defeats the very death that sin requires.  And His sacrifice, is our gift.  Our connection back to God, back to relationship we were created for!  It's only HIS perfection, His strength, His grace (His work, our gift) that brings us back into God's family, as sons and daughters, forever.

THIS is what I want my kids to see, know, soak up and look to as they grow and learn.  I want them to know that it won't ever be anything that they can 'do' that will ever be good enough to earn them a seat in God's lap of favor, love or rescue.  That it will ONLY be in accepting the gift of grace, offered only through the sacrifice of Jesus and His victory over all sin and death that will grant them access into His family.  I don't want them to spend their lives striving, pining and exhausting themselves trying to do enough, be enough or earn enough favor on their own.  I want them to rest and submerge themselves in Jesus' perfection FOR them.  And I want them to cling to His grace in everything they do, they see and they grown in.  I want them to know that there is NO life outside of Him and that He is truly the 'way the Truth and the life!'  That they don't have to live under standards and expectations set by others or by themselves even.  I want them to fully believe and know that in Him and His grace is freedom.  Freedom to truly live, truly love, truly follow the One whom they were made for!

So what if my original prayer actually conflicts with this idea Scripture shows us as the Gospel of Jesus?  What if, instead of praying to be a 'better me' I start claiming Christ's perfection and grace on my behalf as well?  That instead of praying that I be the perfect mom, wife, friend...that I pray that they see Christ in me.  That they would see that He's taking my brokenness and instead giving me His holiness.  Not because I deserve it or earned it, but because it is the very essence of Who He is, that He came that we could be called 'beloved children.'  What if they actually heard me confess my sin and brokenness (yes, out loud) and ask for forgiveness.  What if they heard when I struggled to want what God wants and ask Him to bring my heart and His into alignment through repentance?  What if they watched the power of the Holy Spirit working and reconciling my brokenness through a more genuine, real relationship...one that's not just horizontal, but also vertical?

He's making all things new.  Taking my dingy, arrogant prayers and replacing them with His bright-shiny grace.  Truly amazing.  Ours for the taking.

New (part1)

Who doesn't like new stuff??  Whether it's a new piece of clothing or a new gadget (or fly rod, reel, kayak or well..the list is endless for my husband) it's so fun to have something 'new.'  Ironically, once you acquire that 'whatever it is' it automatically starts becoming, un-new.  Might not be old yet, but it's headed in that direction and quite irreconcilably NOT in the other.  I like bright, shiny things.  Not a diamond girl (I know...just one of the MILLION reasons my husband is sooooo lucky!) but I love a bright, shiny object.  Big, small, tangible or even a new shiny experience...I love it.  The all encompassing feeling of newness is intoxicating.  So much so, that as a culture we've completely taken consumerism to it's 'finest' places and demanded so much 'newness' for ourselves that we're likely stealing borrowed time.  But that's another post.

What if there was a gift that we could obtain where that intoxicating 'newness' never had to fade?  What if there was a 'thing' that we could have forever in our clutches but it never stopped feeling, smelling or existing as new?  It never gets old.  Not in wear, tear, no matter how much you use it, abuse it, neglect it or sleep with it...it stays perfectly 'new.'  In fact, what if this gift starts making the other 'things' in your life feel, seem, smell newer too?  What if just by it's existence in your ownership, all other things you have and acquire past and future, look brighter-shinier too?

I think there's a reason we as human-beings like new things.  I think we were made for renewal.  Made for the intoxicating refreshment that newness brings.  Whether it's a new season or a new sweater, newness is knit into our very being.  It is mine.  And when my heart feels tattered-old-abused and just broken...I long for newness, renewal.

Jesus is that gift, that 'too-good-to-be-true' treasure.  The newness we long for is actually a longing for God.  We were made for Him.  Made to exist in the presence of His Glory and in relationship with Him as Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  And since the beginning of creation, when all existed in perfect harmony-we were created by Him, for Him.  We've come a very long way from that sweet time in the garden together before the Fall.  So far, in fact, that we often can't see that this need, this longing within us isn't actually for a new sweater, new job or new countertops (dirty confession.)  Even more disturbing is that most days we don't see a 'need' at all.  I do a pretty decent job of things on my own.  And when I don't...well, I try harder, right?  Except when I'm tired, weary and have exhausted all my own strength.  My need for newness is my inherent need for God...greater than even my need to breathe, do I need Him, long for Him.

There's always a 'but' right?  But...sin.  But, our own wayward desires and self-indulgences have taken us far from the place where 'all things are made new.'  Enter Jesus.  That sweet, shiny, perfect gift.  A gift, not penance or an earned wage for a job well done....a gift.  One that cost God everything, so that we could come back.  Wipe the smudges and dirt from our eyes, our hearts, and allow Christ's bright, shiny life to bring us back into harmony with the One we truly yearn for.

I don't need more 'stuff.'  I need more of Jesus and His sweet and perfect grace to infiltrate every inch of me.  I need His newness to bring my sin-tattered, arrogant and self-reliant soul back to life with His very breath.  I don't need a 'better' me...I need more Jesus.

Bieber Fever?!?! No really, please keep reading....

A few weeks ago now, Chad and I watched Justin Bieber's documentary movie, "Never Say Never." It wasn't my choice. BUT, there's no denying the insane amount of natural talent, skill and personality this kid has! I think our intention was to just catch a few minutes of it to see what all the hype is about and before we knew it we were sucked in!

Chad, being a crazy-talented artist/musician/crafter himself was glued to this kid's mad abilities. As a kid, he would just sing, LOUD...and with so much beauty and charisma that people would just stop what they were doing and just take him in. I think the movie said he can play 7 instruments and until he was in the middle of his first album, hadn't received ANY vocal coaching whatsoever?!? Whoa. No matter where you fall on the side of Bieber-fever...there's NO mistake, this kid has skillz!

But the thing that had me enamored and glued into the movie wasn't the Bieb. Sure, he's cute, got great hair, adorable personality, etc...but I was keyed into all of his fans. This teenage boy has filled more stadiums, amphitheaters and concert halls than any his age before him. And by 'filled' I mean...FULL of screaming, shouting, crying...SOBBING little girls who are convinced that HE is the one who will make all of their dreams come true! Even the creepy ones who know a bit too much about him to be considered 'normal trivia' or those who swear that they'll marry him someday...are head over heels, madly passionate about this boy and the 'love' that he sings about in his songs.

My heart was breaking.

Let me just hit pause on Justin for a minute and take you back to Amy, circa 1990. You know what's next....NKOTB baby! That's right...I was one of those crazy girls who had posters plastered over every inch of my room, t-shirts, pillows, blankets and every single cassette tape they released (be sure to google what a cassette tape is if you're under the age of 30 reading this post!) My parents, bless their souls, got my sisters and I tickets to see them in concert one year for Christmas. I LITERALLY thought my whole life would change that night! I screamed, cried, and waited....for Danny to catch a glimpse of my face...and whisk me away off to our happily ever after. I just knew that as soon as he saw me, he'd feel the same intensity for me as I had for him...and the rest would be history. I was 10.

As I watched those girls screaming, with tears streaming down their faces as they sang along to every word of every song he sang...I literally felt that twinge in my heart again. I could actually feel that same longing, that same passionate emotion...so full that I literally thought I might explode...all over again.

And then it hit me. We were made for this. We were literally knit together by a Love so crazy, so passionate, so insanely intense that we simply CANNOT settle for anything less!! We are programmed to pursue it. We spend every waking moment of our lives looking for it...sometimes in people, sometimes in things, relationships, reputations..you name it! Sadly though, the objects of our affections often times leave us wounded, empty and alone...still wanting, still longing still passionately in pursuit...of something--most of the time we aren't even sure of what.

The intensity with which those sweet, precious (even creepy!) girls have is good..it's right..it's pure. Yep, that's right...we are all made to find a safe place for our hearts, a home for the love that's within us all. It's the object on which they are hanging every hope in their hearts, every dream of their own happily ever afters that misses the mark. Justin Bieber is a cute, talented boy. But he won't fill the longing that those girls are reaching for. He won't even come close!

Only a Love so perfect, pure, unfailing, never-ending/never-changing and HOLY can give our hearts the safe place of fullness, abounding joy and passion that we so desperately search for! And only the person of Jesus can bring us such a Love. We were made for it. We were made by it. It's good!

What I wouldn't give to have known then, when my heart was being broken, wounded and given away to those who didn't know how to handle it...just where it would be safe. Moms and Dads...tell your girls Who to give their hearts away to. Tell them (over and over and over) where their hearts can find the resting place, the safety the unspeakable JOY and perfect Love that they are so desperately looking for! Affirm them for their passion and over-flowing hearts of emotion...and point them to the strong, safe arms of Christ where that passion finds it's fullness! Remember...He never grows weary! Even with teenage emotions ;)

I'm not sure when my daughter will catch the 'fever..' but I can't wait to watch her run into the open arms of her heart's greatest Desire! And I hope that she learns by watching me...

Live FREE

This time last year, God told me pretty clearly that the theme of our year together would be, 'navigation.' That no matter what came my way, He would be there..guiding, deciphering and navigating me through the waters, whether they be kind or treacherous. He was not only right, but faithful and true to His word! 2011 was an emotional roller coaster for this girl...but not one second of it was I alone. As we come to another new year...I can hear His voice loudly declaring that this year will be a year of FREEDOM. Not only will He continue to be near, guiding and navigating me through whatever comes my way, but this year I will find freedom from things that have haunted me my entire life. Not only that, but He is proclaiming freedom from things I don't even know exist yet!

I used to be pretty big into the whole 'New Years resolution' thing. I'd make my list, and Jan1 (ok, 3rd, really...) I'd get all gung-ho about whatever it was I'd decided I had set my mind to that year. And by March...I'm not sure I could've (or would've) told you what it was I'd committed myself to so whole-heartedly! I'm a girl of good intentions. I really do mean well...really. After reading countless self-help articles on weight-loss, organization and personal motivation...I truly believe that I can do anything. Maybe even conquer the world! And then reality sets it...busy schedules, hectic mornings, too much on the to-do lists, car lines, laundry piles, the list goes on....

And year after year, I find myself in the same spot. STUCK. No farther than where I started. No more achieved than what was intentioned (albeit well) in my mind's eye.

Not this year.

Sure, you say...that's what they ALL say at 12:33am on New Years Day! But here's where it changes. This year...2012...isn't about me. It can't be. Because Amy just can't cut it, won't get it done and WILL fail...time after time after time. But there's an upside....I'm not supposed to get it done, make the cut or be perfect time and time again!

This year, God has said, 'Live FREE!' Free from perfection, free from expectations...free from having to do it all...on your own. This year, I WILL cling, yes CLING to the perfection of Christ...and truly believe that His perfection means that I'm free to not be. I'm not talking lazy here...I'm talking freedom! Jesus came to this earth, lived the perfect life and gave it (conquered it to be exact!) because He knew I never would. On my own, my good intentions are worthless. But HIS goodness...THAT I can count on, trust in, and cling to this new year! He not only offers this to us, but longs for us to receive it and truly LIVE...the life we were made for!

So this year, I'll pass on the goals (although personal goals and reflections aren't bad!) I'll stop putting requirements on what success and achievement looks like for me. Instead, I'll gladly accept the challenge to 'live FREE' this year...hand in hand with Christ...clinging to His perfection and goodness...and take each day one step at a time. After all, this life isn't really about me. And THAT...gives me more freedom than I know what to do with :)

what you see and what you get

There's this house that I drive by often. Ok, so it's on the way to the gym...so I probably don't drive by it THAT often, but still...I see it a lot(ish). I remember right after we moved to this area seeing it for the first time. It was love at first sight! The thing is, this house isn't beautiful...not by most standards. It's not new, manicured, freshly painted or even well-maintained! From just the outside looks of it (sadly, I haven't been blessed enough to see the inside) it actually looks like it would take a LOT of work to make it not only livable, but restored to it's original state of beauty.

There's a longing that happens in my gut when I drive by this house. I want it. I want to pour every ounce of blood, sweat and tears in restoring it...and not just that, but making it useful. I'd love to see it made into a community center of sorts, or maybe even a neighborhood tutoring center...it's literally a block from a local high school. Maybe we could live in the upstairs and the downstairs could benefit the community in some way. Ok, so for this post anyway, how it's used isn't really the point. Sure it's pretty important...what good is something beautiful if you can't share it?

For today, though, it's the longing in my gut that gets me. The way that I see that house. It's like I don't really see what's in front of me. I see more. I see what it could be...dream of what it could look like...how I'd work to fix, repair and restore it's original frame and intricate details. I already see it like that. When I gaze at it (admittedly driving slower than I should, whilst gawking) I see it...restored, full of beauty.

That longing has spread from my gut to my heart. That way of seeing what is broken--restored, is how God sees us, His beautiful bride...His prize creation. We are worn, broken, rotten and in need of Love. Sin has weathered us from the inside, out. We can't fix it...there aren't enough paint brushes on the earth to restore us to our original state of beauty...the state we were created to be in...to be in community with our Creator. Jesus came to restore, redeem us. Only He can make us whole again. And when we trust Him, follow Him, believe Him...the rot stops. The darkness is gone...and the restoration begins. And our Creator...He sees us in our original beautiful condition...and we're no longer a run-down, abandoned heap of wood and brick...but strong, clean, whole...holy.

I'm longing to see not just what my eyes can see in front of me today, but see what God sees. Jesus said that we will worship Him 'in Spirit and in Truth' and I long to do that...to live in the Truth that He sees, love what He loves, grieve over what grieves His heart. And what I know about Him is that He longs for this too. So, today, I'll 'ask, seek and knock' and watch and listen closely to see and hear Him...in Spirit and in Truth. If you ask Him, He'll surely respond.

first things first

I've been going through the book of John with some friends for a couple of months now. We are on Chapter 6. What a beautiful book, FULL of Jesus. But isn't that what all Scripture is? Isn't it His Story from cover to cover?

We've had some really amazing conversations about the words contained in this book. Verses that confuse, frustrate and out-right enrage. We've been challenged to dig, to research, to look back at other texts that bring fuller context, history and clarity to what we're reading. So far, we're reading a lot about those who believe in Christ and their guarantee of eternal life and those who don't. Seems so hard to think of God, who's very essence and description is Love, would keep some of us 'out' of the deal of eternal life. Sounds so contrary to His character, His heart, His desire to see His children come to Him and accept His Love.

But then I wondered if we were asking the wrong questions? Questions that only lead to more questions...

What if we go back to the beginning. Back to when we meet Him, as He is making and creating everything we can see (and not see.) Back when He affirmed it all by saying, 'It is good!' And even better, when He proclaimed at His prize creation (us), 'It is VERY good!' What do we know about Him? What can we find out about His character, His heart here?

First of all, we know He wasn't alone. He's never been alone. Just as He said it wasn't good for Adam to be alone (and therefore created Eve) God, has always been a party of 3, who exist as 1. In the beginning, God. God, our Father, God the Son-Jesus, and God the Spirit-aka Holy Spirit. Three distinct personalities, who exist as One. Whole. Perfect. As in...without sin. None. ZIP. Not even a little!

No sin. Our human minds can't even comprehend this...even as we try, we sin...by thinking that we COULD come close to comprehending a blemish free God...enter that terrible day in the Garden, when everything went awry. Eve thought she ought to be able to comprehend what God could, see what He sees, know what He knows. And the creepy, lying snake deceived her into actually believing that was a possibility. In case you're confused...let me clarity...IT'S NOT.

So, for the first time in the beautiful, perfect and whole existence that God made...destruction entered the scene. (Little known fact: Did you know that some scholars don't believe that it even rained prior to sin entering the world?? That before sin, creation was so perfectly put together, it didn't NEED to rain!) Sin. Church-y word, but what does it mean? Dictionary.com defines it as: 'any reprehensible or regrettable action, behavior, lapse,etc.; great fault or offense'

Reprehensible and regrettable are easy enough to decipher...something really really bad, you wish you could take back...NOT do...undo. What about 'great fault or offense?' Who is offended?

God. Perfect, unblemished, Holy-God. The One who IS. Who will always be. The One by Whom and for Whom all things are made and put into existence! The One in Whom is LIFE. Our lives are not our own. We didn't give ourselves existence, breath, souls. It was given to us, by the very Maker of Life and Love. Perfect Love. Love that has NO end.

Except with sin. Sin destroys. Sin...that terrible terrible delusion that Eve thought she could know and BE her own god (her own purpose for living, her own judge, her own security and wisdom---sound familiar?) That moment of sheer stupidity when her heart's affection went from fullness and abundance in all that is good, pure, holy and what she was made for...to herself. That moment, that delusion, that stupidity didn't hurt God's feelings. It ripped what once was One, into brokenness. So much so that in His perfect, holy, goodness...the very creation He made for Love became unlovable...unreachable. Because to remain in unity with sin would alter His very God-ness. His very essence of all that is good, loving and Holy.

To understand why it is so important to 'believe' in Jesus Christ for eternal life...we have to go back to the beginning. We HAVE to understand, not just in our minds, but in our very souls...that we are hopeless, depraved and fooling ourselves thinking that this life that we live is ours. That we can ever truly breathe, truly Love, truly LIVE outside of that perfect, beautiful relationship with our Maker, Creator, Giver of All. But with sin now in the picture, with our hearts full of deceit, adultery and more than we care to actually look at...what do we do? Where is our hope?

Enter Jesus. We 'believe' in Him because HE makes ALL things new! Because He IS indeed God (remember, He was there as it all began!) only HE can right the wrong, make clean what was abused, close the gap between us and our Father. And He did. And He continues to do so, every day. When He gave His life on the cross 2000(ish) years ago, His death paid the ransom for our crime. And when He rose again, He proved that not even death itself could defeat the power of LOVE that He'd given with His Life, His sacrifice...His gift. God Himself reclaimed His prize creation! Jesus came that we might LIVE, love, and know fully the goodness of the heart of God...be restored to our Father, together as a family...forever.

It's not about doing good things...we can't ever 'do' anything worthy of a perfect God. It's not about church attendance or Bible reading or fighting injustice. It's ALL about Jesus. Our need for God is beyond our need for air, whether we can admit that to ourselves or not...it's true. And Jesus came, that we could be with Him...breathing Him in, living life abundantly...eternally, forever.

The question isn't about God. It's about me. And you. Do we know how much we need Him? Do we care?

am i missing the point?

what if we’re getting it wrong? (as if that’s NOT the case!) but really...i mean think about our life? what is our ultimate goal each and every day? comfort, security, happiness, ease...all illusive idols that we continue to chase, continue to be duped by, continue to chase around that next corner...if we’re honest..enough is NEVER enough.

what if...when God led the Israelites through the wildnerness it wasn’t so much a punishment as a gift? what if, by stripping them completely of their creature comforts, their security, routines and ‘safety’ that He was in fact, blessing them, giving them the most beautiful gift (maybe even a glimpse of the Messiah to come)? bringing them into the most precious of places...the place that Jesus begged for in John17 as He pleaded with the Father...that we might know and receive the same unity as He and the Father are one. what if, by living to find our comfort, our security (financial, relationally, etc), our ever-changing-like-the-wind happinesses we are actually running farther from God even as we think we might be running to Him? what if that frustration, that constant nagging in our souls, that gap between what we know and what we live...is just that...a gap...a conflict in reality vs. philosophy. what if...instead of seeking comfort we sought out risk...sought after a dependence so deep that we would be reminded every second of our need, our dependence on God alone, for life, breath, sustenance...comfort, security, happiness...peace?

what if we’re looking in all the wrong places for the things we so desperately desire?

what if we changed the way we look for them? what if we made room for Him to show up in our lives each and every day? what if we pressed harder into God? desperately waited, arms flung wide-open to receive even a whisper from Him.

here’s what we know:

He’s not hiding. He’s relentlessly pursuing, Loving, healing..longing to see us free. free to love, free to heal, free from the very things we THINK we want. free to be whole, be One with Him, as Jesus and the Father are One! something tells me...THAT is what we’re made for, looking for as we find ourselves settling for the lesser ‘things.’

i’m praying for a heart and mind that would be so captivated by Christ-as i go through my day that instead of escaping the ‘tough’ stuff...being distracted by the illusions of peace...that i’d find His heart, His voice...booming and lovingly calling me closer to Himself. God, give me ears to hear and eyes to see YOU...to know you more, love you more, receive you more...to have faith as even a mustard seed!

dys*func*tion

I had a slightly profound moment of revelation the other day. One that sounds sort of ridiculous and maybe even obvious to say out loud, but one that has eluded me for years.

LOVE.

What does this word/verb/adjective actually mean? What does it look like? How do we embody it?

1Corinthians13 says this:

"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud ⁵ or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. ⁶ It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. ⁷ Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."

And of course, there is 'preferring one another in Christ,' and 'laying down your life for your friends.' But what does this actually look like? When rubber meets the road, and we aren't just talking in generalities and vague philosophies...what does Love look like in our lives?

I used to think (and am still working at 'unthinking it') that it was loving of me to 'be responsible' for others (yes, ALL others) feelings...good/bad, true/false, happy/sad. And that in some way I was failing them (yes, ALL of them) if I couldn't prevent the bad, sad or false. This hasn't been a conscious thought process for me, but just a foundational belief, which guided my thoughts and actions. But it was like it was my 'job' to make sure everyone was 'ok,' regardless of how 'ok' I was/wasn't. I also used to think that it was loving toward another if I were so aware of their feelings/responses and constantly tried to please or appease them in whatever situation that looked like. In other words, love meant, perfection. To meet every need, for everyone, every time.

Can I be honest and just tell you what that looked like?

Exhaustion, weariness...and then bitterness, resentment, disillusionment...til finally, hopeless.

Here's the good new&bad news:

Love does indeed mean perfection.

God IS Love. Not just for the good and wonderful things He does for us, but because HE IS PERFECT. In ways our brains cannot even comprehend, He is perfect! And THIS is the only reason He can be defined as Love. 1Cor13 is describing God. His perfect Love. NOT a standard for us to attempt to live up to...but what His Love already IS.

But if Love is perfection, that's sort of a bummer for me, right? Cause I'm most definitely NOT perfect. Very rarely am I patient...kind more often, but moreso proud, irritable and rude! How does a perfect/Loving God love me? This seems to be a pretty big problem...if God is Love...because He's perfect...how in the world does He expect me to be?

Coolest part....

He doesn't! Enter-Jesus! Fully God, fully man. With all the 'tendencies' toward sin and brokenness...He lived flawless, perfection. And He knew that I (ok all of us!) would be totally jacked up! Completely incapable of even NEARING perfection...in other words...completely incapable of being accepted, loved...adopted by God (the VERY definition of Love, acceptance and family!) And for this reason...the most Loving thing a Loving God could do, would be to sacrifice (prefer...lay down His life..sound familiar??) His very perfection and give it to us (FOR FREE!) so that we could HAVE (not just read about, talk about or hear about...) His own perfection ourselves! His perfection..ie..HIMSELF is the most Loving gift we could ever receive! Without Him, we cannot Love. Without Him, we can't even get close. He's not a conduit for us to love...HE IS IT. Love Itself. And because He Loves without fail, with all perfection...I am free to love. Not perfectly...but by His grace (that free gift of Love, received) with all my flaws and imperfections, made whole and right in and by HIM.

That means that I don't have to get it right all the time. That I don't have to be the best, prettiest, smartest, coolest, awesomest anything! I get to be me...because He (perfectly) Loves me...because I'm His...forever.

He turns ashes into beauty, darkness into light, death into life and my disfunction into His perfection!

Just a random morning in our home. Plans to hit the gym early, ended up being pushed back to mid-morning. A missing IPod once there, meant that my intention to lose myself in music to distract from exercise would turn into magazine browsing instead. With 2 already in my hand as I gaze back at the newstand in front of me, another catches my eye and I take all 3 to the 'torture machine' as I've so affectionately dubbed the crosstrainer I've chosen. Ready, set, sweat.

I'm leafing through pages of girl-heaven (well, mine anyway)...endless turns of makeup, clothes, the newest and freshest looks for this season. I've always been more of a magazine comber rather than reader. I mean, how many actual articles on clothes and skincare can one person read? Except this one isn't about clothes, skincare or clearance aisle dramas. It was about a girl, who found herself, by helping others.

I'm not a blog-savvy lady, so for the sake of keeping things tidy, I won't mention names or specifics here. But it was a very well-known woman who found a huge gap between the life she was living and the life she actually wanted to live...the life she aspired to get to. And funny enough, that 'life' had nothing to do with her job, her finances, her home(s) or who she married. She called it an act of worship. I call it a wake-up call.

At at time in her life where it made ZERO sense for her to invest more time, energy, efforts and resources in pouring herself into fighting injustice...she found peace. In what, from the outside, looked like a perfect storm, she was actually safely tucked away in sanctuary. A Believer in Jesus and a life lived for His purposes and glory, she didn't try to apologize or bring a culturally-centric spirituality into play. She simply agreed with the Scripture that says, 'if you wish to save your life, you must lose it.'

For years now I've been battling with the image of being a person so centered on my own happiness and fulfillment that I'm missing the 'point' to why in the world we're here in the first place. If I'm just a girl, rotating on my own axis, making choices every day for my own appetite, aligning myself with those who feed my raging ego, distracting myself from the broken and bruised parts of me crying out for healing, accumulating more and more things to continue my journey of self-righteous gluttony....well...it's been eating at me to say the least.

And as a wife of a pastor at a local church, mom of 2, nanny of 1, it's easy to stay 'distracted' and yet completely and totally ineffective. THAT keeps me nauseas.

This is not me being dissatisfied with my life. Quite the contrary actually...only in the light of Who we exist for, can true gratitude and overflowing joy be complete!

I don't know what the next step of faith will be. I have no idea to what 'cause' or plight He'll propel me towards. Maybe it's right in front of my eyes. But what I do know is that...if I want to save my life...I'll have to lose it.

Matt 10:39

³⁹ If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.

Phil 2:17

But I will rejoice even if I lose my life, pouring it out like a liquid offering to God, just like your faithful service is an offering to God. And I want all of you to share that joy.

JOY

I just read a blog at http://www.orangeparents.org on cultivating good energy in our home. I think as parents what we'd LIKE to see happen in our homes is sometimes NOT what actually occurs. I'm not talking about being control-freaks...more along the lines of our desires as parents vs. our realities.

I know that I struggle daily with being overwhelmed with the 'tasks' of life. I'm not just talking about the dishes here, but certainly they are included as well...and don't even get me started on the laundry...or the floors, or..ok, I digress. Anyway, it's easy for me to waste an entire day DOING a bunch of stuff and not once actually engaging with my family. Or if I do find myself stopping what I'm doing, it's only to complain or gripe about the thing that they are doing (or not doing)! Ok, so hopefully it's not quite this extreme every day, but even if it's more days than not...I'm not ok with this.

I want our home to be a haven. Our safe place of comfort, refreshment, engagement and JOY. Chad and I want our kids to grow up remembering their childhood with fond memories of not only fun, but fulfilling moments together. We talk a big game of 'relationship' here, and I'm just not sure I'm doing a great job of actually living that out...day by day in my home.

So...the question I'd like to pose is this: What can we do to cultivate JOY in our homes? How can we create an atmosphere that is more in line with our desires for our families instead of overrun with the busyness, negativity and disengagement that seems to be the reality? How can we still get done the daily tasks required, but also carve out time for nothing BUT relationship, joy, life and laughter?

Ready? Set...REPLY!

let freedom ring....

yesterday was memorial day. we spent the day surrounded by family and friends, playing & eating and truly soaking in every minute we could squeeze out of the day.

i had lots of thoughts and heard many more of the incredible freedom that we celebrate as a nation...and the high price that is paid for it by the awesome men and women who guard our freedom. truly, it's hard to think of those who lay down their very lives daily to protect and serve without a stir of great emotion and gratitude.

it also brought to mind a verse that's been rolling around in my (oh so spacious) brain lately:

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

John 15:13

this verse is speaking itself into my thoughts and heart layer by layer...infiltrating each and every facet and corner of my life.

yesterday, as we celebrated our nation's physical, political, religious freedoms i couldn't help but think of so many across the globe who weren't celebrating. so many who suffer oppressions and injustices that my heart and mind can't even fathom.

sometimes it's easier for me to stick my bleached-blonde hair in the sand and not think of the atrocities that most of the world's population face day in and day out, while i'm sipping my hot coffee in my air-conditioned, spacious home (with clean, running water). and while that might work for a short time, knowing Christ and being loved by Him propels my heart to love His family as i love my own...no matter where they are or what they are enduring. and knowing that no matter what physical, religious or political persecution or oppression faced, we all have a Hero...who always wins.

a Hero that each and every person alive, regardless of ethnicity, background, social or political status, gender--has. a Hero that indeed has laid down His life for not just His friends, but His brothers and sisters. a Hero that doesn't need artillery, strategery, or a surprise attack. He has all the power, all the strength and all the Love it takes to win the battle that all of us face...daily. the battle for our heart. and indeed He has already won that battle, faced and defeated death itself. no darkness, no opponent, no challenge can overtake Him. He is steadfast, sure, from beginning to eternity. and He fights for all of us. Loves so perfectly...'no greater love.'

that makes me smile, from the inside out.

and then (as if that wasn't enough deep thinking for one day!) it hit me that we all face afflictions. we all have battles we need fought on our behalf. i might have clean water to drink and even more than enough of it to lavishly wash my car, groceries at my disposal, warm beds for me and mine to sleep in...not to mention the thousands of other luxuries that we enjoy from sun up to sun down everyday! but i still need a Hero. i still need Someone to fight for me. i might thoroughly enjoy physical freedoms but fall prey to oppression of my heart and mind. thoughts and beliefs about myself and others that long to see me defeated, paralyzed...sin and death that would love to ruin my life and those around me.

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

What's the 'good news' today? One has already laid down His life for us...that means you too, by the way. One has already come and defeated sin and darkness and He fights for us every second of every day to share in that victory too!! and no matter where i live or what my circumstances, He Loves perfectly, fights for me constantly...and here's the greatest part....He's bigger than all of them combined! this doesn't mean that i'm guaranteed exemption from pain, poverty or suffering. in fact, it's inevitable. but it does mean that the circumstances, afflictions and sufferings that i find myself in--pale in comparison to who my Hero is. and not only is He the winning team...

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39).

He never leaves, never gets tired, needs a break or goes through a selfish phase.

so today i'm so grateful for freedom. for more physical freedoms than i feel worthy of, but definitely way more true freedom than i deserve.

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1

walk by faith, not by sight....

i'm sure you're all (3) tired of hearing about my morning walks by now, but alas, here i go again!

the past few mornings have been REALLY hard to get out of bed. lack of sleep combined with a cold that won't die makes for some long nights and mornings that are coming too soon! anyway, i have hit snooze a few too many times but made it out the door in time to walk for sunrise.

this morning i needed an extra boost, so i headed out the door with a cup o joe in my hand :) not the healthiest choice for a pre-workout beverage, but man...it was good! i arrived a smidge early, which was fine by me...gave me a few minutes to CHUG, ahem, i mean sip gracefully my java and watch the water before my friend arrived.

as i sat staring at the waveless sea, surrounding islands (and condos of course) i noticed some stingrays flip flapping on the surface and also saw two dolphin swimming/playing. it was breathtaking. a gift, wrapped in beauty more pure than anything i could ever create.

my friend pulled up and joined me in awe and wonder of the incredible life happening around us....we saw more stingray feeding (they usually stay at the bottom of the seafloor, but feed on the surface) and another dolphin splashing. my heart was full and thankful...and we had only just begun.

our conversation was weighty in depth and breadth today...not uncommon for a couple o idealistic dreamers :) deep in thought and talk we found ourselves looking inward in contemplation and prayer. our eyes were fixed on the path ahead, yet God kept beckoning us to look over at what was happening next to us. fish were jumping, the sun was a brilliant shade of pink casting rays of purple and orange all over the sky and water beneath, more rays were spinning on the surface and even more dolphin jumping through the water as if it were a trampoline.

you'll definitely find this hard to believe, but it shut me up. :) the things i want to work out, the places in myself and my life that i want to fix and see things happen...He was whispering today to take my eyes off of what is 'seen' and look to what is 'unseen.' had we been intent enough in our conversation, we would and likely could have completely missed the sweet gifts of life and encouragement today. had we kept our eyes on the road in front and not slowed down enough to look over at the water right next to us...well, today would've ended a lot differently.

i think as a woman it's just my nature to be tangible. not only do i want to fix it, i want it done my way and right now please. and faith and trust are so much more than looking to Him until we get what we want. it's simply about looking to Him. keeping our eyes fixed on what He sees, what He loves, what He values...because there is nothing better.

you don't have to live at the beach (although i highly recommend it!) to see the gifts of life and hope that He puts in our paths each day. God passionately pursues His carefully crafted children. you don't have to measure up to some crazy standard or open your Bible at least once a week to qualify. if you're breathing...you're it! He loves you. He wants you. not to control you, but to set you free. you don't have to have it together (i'm #1 case in point for that one). He provides the strength when we don't feel strong. He gives the love when we are tapped dry. He is Life.

2Cor4:18

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Isaiah40:28-31

The LORD is the everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

²⁹ He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

³¹ but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

2Chron32:7-9

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged because of the king of Assyria and the vast army with him, for there is a greater power with us than with him. ⁸ With him is only the arm of flesh, but with us is the LORD our God to help us and to fight our battles." And the people gained confidence from what Hezekiah the king of Judah said.